It was in my high school sewing class that a passion for making clothes was ignited. Many evenings in my youth were spent impatiently sewing something I could wear to school the next day. Reflecting upon these past creations, I cringe at my amateur attempts, but also admire the gusto in which I approached my sewing machine.
The desire to continue making clothing never faded but slowly became repressed, and later dormant. I began to concoct a range of beliefs that forced me to push this interest aside; it wasn’t a worthy pursuit, it’s not the way I should be spending my time, it was too superficial, I simply couldn’t do it well enough to justify the effort.
Regardless of those blocking beliefs, fashion continued to be a huge part of my life. I loved searching out treasures at consignment and thrift stores and even found ways to get around those self-imposed limitations. Instead of making clothes, I switched my focus and poured my creative energy into the art of millinery, and for the last 10 years I’ve been studying and making hats passionately.
I sew for work. Not only do I tend to my millinery business, but I assist a few designers in the city of Toronto. One, a milliner named David Dunkley, and the other, a custom bridal designer named Catherine Langlois. It was when I started working for Catherine that I began to notice the desire to make clothing bubble to the surface. It’s no wonder, as I was surrounded by gorgeous dresses all day long!
For the first time in many years my mind pulled away from hats, and I started thinking about dress construction, and how I would approach things now, if I were to try again. Many times during a workday I would see what I was working on reapplied to a garment that I would love to make myself. I started to research patterns and techniques involved with construction, which gave me some confidence and motivation to jump back in and try out my ideas.
Shortly before Covid-19 reshaped our world I wanted to challenge myself and proposed that I do a small collection of clothing strictly for myself. It wasn’t long after that that I found myself home and locked up for two months straight. I cleared off my work desk and got started.
Cotton Jumpsuit
This was the moment I needed. No distraction, and no pressure! I picked out fabric from my stash, and pulled patterns from my growing collection, which I can’t deny have become a bit of an obsession. There are so many beautiful patterns out there!
Dress made from fabric Catherine Langlois gave me.
It felt good. Better then I expected. I made many mistakes, but I still successfully managed to add new skirts and dresses to my closet for the summer to come. My main objective was just to prove to myself that I could do it!
Then I experienced a surprise that changed everything for me. I found that when I wore a self-created garment, I experienced a pleasure and a joy that I hadn’t anticipated. This had nothing to do with any of the comments I would receive; it is strictly a pleasure in sporting something that I crafted with my own hands and heart. Something that took time, thought and care to create.
I really wanted to try colour-blocking. This dress is made from linen.
After the few first sparks of joy, I started reaching for my own clothing without hesitancy. Not only that, but I’m now able to jump into projects faster and have shown myself that making my own clothes is actually a worthy pursuit.
I’m now wholeheartedly continuing to create clothing, and am nurturing this skill without the pressure of it being anything other than something special for myself.
I’m allowing myself to find the pleasure and the art of being a home sewer once again.
A simple t-shirt and a brocade skirt.